Previously on Finding 42...

So, it is currently the morning of Saturday, August 29th 2009. I am in the early stages of a new chapter of my life. We'll call this chapter 4 -the Undiscovered Country (both perfectly relevant AND a Star Trek reference, though Star Wars is still better).

In the spirit of the "previously on" segments at the beginnings of TV shows, here's the quick get-up-to-speed story of recent events:

I don't claim it to be a unique story. It's actually the same old "something's missing" story that everyone has told or lived at some point. I had a pretty good life going. Good job, great girl, decent apartment, really comfortable bed, new member of a fun salsa dance company. But while things seemed (and often felt) fine on the outside, I'd begun to have a nagging feeling that I was stuck. I'd often catch myself wondering, "Is this the life I want?"

This was a serious question, as I could definitely (www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com people!) see that life becoming my life for the rest of my life. It was a comfortable path, one that I am sure is being contently lived by some parallel me in some parallel universe. But at the same time, it felt too comfortable. Whether I was living this life by choice or by inertia was debatable. There were days I had trouble looking at myself in the mirror, as if I was trying to avoid the gaze of the person on the other side. I could probably write, and no one would read, a book on all the fights I had with myself about this subject, but suffice to say I made the decision, for better or worse, to give that life up in search of something else.

What exactly this something is I have no idea. And how exactly do you go about looking for something when you don't even know what you're looking for? I guess you just start.